Why Do We Fall In Love With The Impossible?
Maybe this is because we read or watch a lot of love stories. Or maybe we like to suffer. Still, there aren’t really any logical explanations for why we fall in love with the impossible.
What we can’t have, whether it’s a friend’s boyfriend, a movie star, or someone we can’t get, is often what draws our attention the most.
Of course, the heart has its reasons which reason ignores, as the popular saying goes.
But if the impossible is recurring in your life, maybe this article can help.
Seeking answers to our search for the impossible
Have you ever had your heart set on someone you couldn’t “have” for various reasons?
Do you tend to be interested in married or engaged people? Do you love prohibited situations?
Of course, everyone has the right to do whatever they want in their life, but the problem becomes serious when one suffers because of their own decisions, habits or choices.
If you fall in love with the impossible, here are what could be the reasons:
Love what we can’t have
This happens in several cases. We always love what we lack, what is unobtainable, or what is exclusive.
This applies when we go shopping, when we are looking for a job… or when we like someone!
For example, if you fall in love with a married man, maybe you think that if he is “caught” it is because he is truly worth it.
So if you get fixated on him and notice that a lot of people esteem him, your attraction will increase.
Attraction to challenges
Since we often have a monotonous and routine life, we are always looking for a way to change our daily life.
That’s why we choose to go on vacation to an exotic destination, to eat in a restaurant that offers international dishes or to look for someone who is difficult to conquer.
We are tired of the routine and to break it we have to break the norms in some way.
No longer being the one who does everything perfectly, so that you can give someone reasons to blame you, for the mistakes you make unintentionally.
Lack of confidence or self-esteem
It works in the case of love but it can also work in other cases. There are many people who only know how to set impossible goals for themselves.
By doing this, they ensure an explanation for their failure, for which they are therefore not responsible.
Of course, this is an explanation in which they have nothing to do with. The fact of not having reached the fixed objective is nothing other than the product of the difficulty of the own objective.
However, they never say that they chose him, since they bet from the start that they were going to fail.
The fear of commitment
Here’s another “excuse” that leads to non-serious relationships, relationships with someone who then has to return home, or glances exchanged with a co-worker who is unreachable.
As, unconsciously, we do not want to commit, we choose someone who we know will not match us.
Inveterate romanticism
Many women like to think of them as the princesses or the protagonists of the stories told in novels or movies. Of course, the endings of these tales are always magnificent… “And they had many children”.
To imagine that the other is the prince charming of our novel will make that we idealize him to the point where we will live perpetually in the terrible fear that this love could touch reality.
Can we learn not to fall in love with the impossible?
Yes of course ! You have to put the best of yourself into it and trust yourself.
First and foremost, think about the reasons or excuses that make you choose “impossible to reach” people. Then take action using these tips:
Pay more attention to those who are interested in you
This doesn’t mean that you have an obligation to fall in love with your best friend or the coworker who helps you at work.
But often times, you’re so focused on an impossible love that you don’t give yourself the opportunity to open up the spectrum and look around.
Remember that life is not a movie
If you’re waiting for the knight serving on his white horse to save you from the bad witch after fighting a dragon high up in a castle, wake up!
Not only because dragons don’t exist or because you don’t live in the Middle Ages, but also because idealizing a relationship can prevent you from meeting the love of your life.
Leave negative thoughts aside
Believing that falling in love with the impossible is the best way to avoid engagement may have something to do with a previous relationship that caused you tremendous pain.
If you are convinced that you are doomed to be unhappy in love, it will not help you to meet your “other half”.
Have confidence in your abilities and your personality
Maybe love is impossible because the other does not know all the good things you have to offer. Don’t hide your way of being!
Remember that you must love yourself first in order to receive love from others.
Whether in this or that way, some people strive to turn love into an element of torture or into a utopia, like perfection.
If you project your feelings onto someone you can’t reach, you sabotage yourself from the start and shut yourself off from the possibility of feeling a love that will make you touch, laugh, or kiss.
* Editing Note: This article is aimed at women, but be aware that this is not an exclusively female phenomenon. The same amount of men, if not more, strive to end love before it even begins, so we think they can apply the same advice.
