We Educate People, Not Genres
Would you dress your son in pink for school? Would you let your son play with dolls or take ballet lessons? Would you support your daughter if she wanted to play rugby? What if she wanted to take mechanics lessons or cut her hair? For many people, it is easy to answer these questions in a theoretical way, if at all it does not directly concern their children. Is the definition of gender so fragile that a color, dance, sport or clothing could change it?
Many would say yes, especially when it comes to boys. With the advance of feminism, certain behaviors, which previously were only assimilated to men, are now completely normal for women: voting, wearing pants or working are already things considered normal for women, even if much progress is still to be hoped for.
On the other hand, it is still frowned upon for a man to do female things. Perhaps the behaviors considered “reserved for women” are inferior? Or is the woman herself inferior, and wanting to be like her is discredit? What is wrong with behaving like a woman? What would happen if we stopped interfering with the lives of our children?
Often we don’t realize it, but kids just want to be happy; games, colors or clothes, just as many things that can entertain them and to which they attach no meaning. Children ignore gender issues, they only see things they like. It is the adults who deprive them of this capacity for neutrality, because it is they who see in everything a gendered meaning.
We experience situations like these every day, and it’s the adults who are at fault. These children will grow up believing that a boy can’t like pink, or even that he can’t play games only for girls. Yet what is so wrong with that?
It is women who get pregnant and give birth, but both women and men have to look after children, feed them, change their diapers or go out for a walk with them. So why should only girls be able to play with dolls to familiarize themselves with motherhood, and not boys? Are we not teaching our children that only women will be responsible for raising children?
However, dolls are not the only ones to convey this idea. Indeed, it seems that expressing your emotions is a girl’s thing. We do not realize that by leading boys to consider that they are not allowed to do so, we are depriving them of a part of themselves. They are told that they are warriors, that they are strong, that they must fight, and that they are not allowed to cry or be sad. So, are we not teaching them that they cannot have emotions? Or, what’s even worse, that they can’t be themselves?
We like to think that in today’s society, with all the progress that has been made on issues such as equality, our children, both girls and boys, will be able to become the people they want to become as they age. adult. However, we educate them without deconstructing gender stereotypes, and to realize it, just leaf through a catalog of toys.
With small exceptions, when we start to think about what we will offer our children at Christmas, it will be very easy to guess what to expect in adulthood if we continue to educate them like today; for girls, there are dolls and toys that allow them to imitate the role of the housewife. For boys, on the other hand, there are cars and construction games.
So, if these toy catalogs are to be believed, only girls can aspire to be housewives and mothers and only men can work outside the home? If we keep telling boys that they can’t dance or play with dolls, and girls that they can’t play soccer or building games, then the answer is yes. . If we let our children choose freely and do not judge their decisions, then they can become who they want, the people they aspire to be.
The gender struggle, for both girls and boys, as we have seen, remains on the agenda. But the good news is, it’s up to us adults to make that change. We have in our hands the key to the adults of the future.
As parents, educators or adults in general, we need to understand that education without gender stereotypes is up to us. We must let our children choose with complete freedom what they want and educate them so that they respect others in their choices, because there are not things for girls and others for boys, but things which are healthy and fun for all children. We educate people, not genders.
