How To Recover From Emotional Abuse

It is not so simple. Emotional abuse is not easy to unmask because its mechanisms are often very subtle, at the same time sophisticated. We must also add another, no less important ingredient: love. Because we cannot forget that the one who loves is stubborn, confident and committed. Therefore, these mechanisms are not visible to the naked eye and if they are perceived, if they are noticed, the brain often applies very complex strategies to dissuade doubts, to emit a dense fog that prevents one from seeing clearly. what is happening.

Until we finally do, sooner or later become fully aware of what is going on,  when we look at ourselves in the mirror without recognizing ourselves . The person reflected in it is little more than a shadow of what we were before …

Recovering from emotional abuse, a situation not everyone manages

The cycle of emotional abuse often works like an addiction. There is a stream of punishment-reward that we find ourselves trapped in. At times we are the subject of inordinate attention, the most incredible affection, passion, but then there may be demands, coldness, humiliation and demands. reproaches, generating injuries.

Proper treatment is closely linked to mistreatment in a vicious circle where we sit as an additional piece of this machinery controlled by the abuser. Leaving this dynamic, freeing itself from it, is not easy. Especially since  we do not believe that by achieving this, by ending this relationship, we end the suffering.

Many people, both men and women, who ultimately leave an abusive relationship unconsciously consider this courageous step to be all over. They  think that after this decision, everything will be better, that after having hit rock bottom everything will be better now and that the recovery will be immediate. It is not, however.

Symptoms that show we haven’t overcome emotional abuse

• Feelings of guilt: We concentrate some anger within ourselves for not realizing it sooner, for wasting so much time with someone who was hurting us.
• Guilt mixes with anger: We build up so much frustration and anger that we sometimes project that feeling onto others at some point.
• We become suspicious.
• We can go through periods of high hyperactivity, we want to do many things, get involved in different projects, but we quickly feel exhausted, lacking in energy.
• Our self-image, self-recognition, as well as our self-esteem are still damaged, vulnerable.
• We no longer experience positive emotions with the same intensity as before, the joy is now less intense, the illusion less motivating and the dreams less optimistic. We have the impression of being anesthetized …

The keys to recovering from emotional abuse

As we indicated in the introduction, in order to recover from emotional abuse, it is necessary to reinterpret our condition of victim, so that it does not occupy all of our self-esteem. Let us put aside this feeling of guilt and helplessness which in the long run will end up making our traumatic state chronic. The role of victim takes power away from us and further undermines our self-esteem.

Now let’s see what approaches, what strategies, we should use.

Focus, we are brave and we have to take the reins of our own life

You are not a victim, you are a courageous person who must recover from a traumatic past. To do this, you need to focus on the present moment and take the reins. You are responsible for your own life, and responsible means “one who knows how to respond to things”,  therefore, dissuade your mind from feeling guilty and take charge of the situation, your reality.

In the face of existential angst, calm down

Recovering from emotional abuse involves, as we said before, learning to be responsible for yourself in this new stage of our life. However, taking this step often makes us feel anguish, fear, confusion…  Faced with such feelings it is advisable to remain calm.

Be calm, understand that no one is going to rush us to recover as quickly as possible, understand and accept that all healing takes time  and that we therefore have no choice but to follow our own pace, to listen to ourselves and to accept all our emotions. We will gradually take full control of everything around us.

Positive management of our reality

It is common after an abusive relationship to build up anger, to feel mistrust, to have a negative image of yourself in order to feel the victim of something that we should have stopped earlier. To avoid getting caught in these states, we need to take a more positive approach to what is around us.

• If you feel anger, channel it, release it.
• If you are feeling alone, talk to other people, with support groups who have been through the same thing as you.
• If you perceive that you are not making progress, that each attempt brings you back to that starting point of helplessness and frustration, seek professional help.

To recover from emotional abuse, we must positively manage our reality, we must apply a constructive approach where we will not lack resources, support, openness to those around us, adequate therapies and glances allowing us to rediscover a brighter me.

We can all break out of the cycle of abuse and… we won’t always come out unscathed, that’s obvious, but  we can come out stronger by building a much more worthy, resilient and valuable image of ourselves.