How To Overcome Empty Nest Syndrome

The cycle of life means that at a certain age it is normal to leave the family cocoon.

Children grow up and at some point they make the decision to independently embark on a new path in their life.

Although this process is a part of life, moving from the parental home sometimes causes in the parents what is known as “empty nest syndrome”.

What to do when the children leave the house? How to live as a couple again after such a long period? How can you avoid feeling “old”?

These questions often accompany parents who begin to suffer from the “empty nest”, an allusion to what is happening to birds and their habitats.

So, we can define empty nest syndrome as a set of  negative and nostalgic thoughts and feelings  such as the feeling of uncertainty, sadness or loss of meaning of life, that parents feel  when their children leave home..

Suddenly they find themselves alone, after a long period of caring for and educating their children.

However, these feelings are often normal and transient, but  the problem arises when they persist over time and become chronic. 

In this case, the adaptation to the new family situation is very difficult for the parents.

To this is added the appearance over time of other factors such as the awareness of the arrival of “third age”, menopause or andropause and continuous reminiscences.

It is important for parents to talk to each other about what happens to them when children leave home, but they should also talk about how they are feeling in their relationship.

This does not mean that parents are bad people or that they are not happy to see their children become independent, but sometimes it is difficult for them to cope with an empty house and changes in their routine.

On the other hand, if we put the average age at 30 for children to leave home to form a new family or gain independence, this means that three decades have passed since the last time. where the parents have been alone.

Thus, there is a rediscovery of the couple that takes place, a return to a bygone era, of which the parents may not even remember. Because of this, they don’t know how to deal with this new stage.

This step  can be the solution or the incentive to rediscover the feelings experienced together. Indeed, the two are much more mature than at the beginning of their relationship, when they had no children yet.

Therefore, the fact of  starting to have a routine without the children is a new step that must be lived with joy, and not with sadness or longing.

Although it is difficult at first, it is the “law of life”. Ultimately, the parents themselves were children who left home to get married.

The umbilical cord is cut when a baby is born, but there are other bonds that bind us to our children as well.

The habit of addressing your children as if they were eternal babies, for example, makes things more difficult when it comes to this stage.

How to deal with empty nest syndrome?

Below, we present some recommendations that may help you overcome empty nest syndrome:

– Take a new perspective on the situation : instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, look for the positive aspects.
For example, you can think about the well-being of your children. If they’re happy, so should you.

– Strengthen your relationship with your partner : It’s time to strengthen the couple through activities that you may have postponed, to rediscover each other and to do things together.

– Express what you are feeling: It is always appropriate to verbalize how we are feeling. Sometimes, sharing it with our loved ones can make us realize that we are capable of overcoming this stage.

– Do things you like : Sometimes we delay things we want to do, due to daily demands.

Now, maybe it’s time to jump in and make them happen. It will help you think of other things and realize that life goes on.

– Improve the relationship with your children : Maybe the fact that they have left the house will allow you to have better communication with them than before.

It is important to remember that the relationship with our children does not end because they have left home, but that relationship will develop in a different way.

As in any relationship, for it to be maintained it is necessary to continue to build it by strengthening it every day.