Even With A Broken Heart, I Will Try To Learn A Lesson From This Experience

Even with a broken heart, I will find meaning in this experience. I will continue to move forward. I’ll complain when I need to. I will cry all the tears in my body. I’ll share it with people who can understand how I feel and not with people who don’t want to listen to me. Who don’t want to help me.

I will respect myself enough to share my pain with people who appreciate and do me good. I’ll be strong enough to be able to make that distinction. Because this experience I’m immersed in is mine and so intimate that I don’t want to add insane pain. But I want to find meaning in this passage in my life.

You may identify yourself by reading these words. You may have been heartbroken for the first time, or once again in a list of many times. Or your heart might only break with the people who are very important to you. It doesn’t matter where you are.

Find out what is behind this broken heart to better understand it

There are different ways people deal with romantic disappointments. They do this based on the expectations they had in this relationship, the place they had accorded to that person in their life, the image they had formed of that person and the depth of the relationship. An infinity of nuances which give or take away a meaning to the pain which crushes us from the inside.

When we can see the mechanisms that have been set in motion in our relationships, our vision becomes clearer. Less fuzzy. For example, you might be one of those people who immediately idealize the person they are just starting to know. They “fill” or inflate it, as if it were an empty shell, supplementing it with accessories having characteristics or virtues not corresponding to it, not belonging to it.

Very often, we put in the other what we want to see in him. And if we don’t see him immediately, we’ll be looking for clues to confirm that this person is truly wonderful and special. We are becoming experts in the art of makeup. We add and remove parts as if we were dealing with a toy.

Blindness makes us relive the same experiences

In fact,  while we often get to see that the reality is quite different, ultimately it is dependence on that person that takes control of the relationship. And that leads us adrift. Never mind that he is not the person I imagined. “I cannot live without him / her”. And the fear of loneliness comes back to haunt our days. Until we wanted and could open our eyes to get out of the labyrinth we entered.

It is therefore important to see clearly and without illusions all these mechanisms that have made us rush towards people we do not deserve or fall again and again with the same type of people and relationships. When we understand the way we operate in a relationship, we can find meaning in this painful experience. We will be able to better understand how this broken heart broke little by little.

Identifying the forces that broke our heart, even if it is a painful exercise, will give us the opportunity to remove them in future relationships and avoid suffering again.

The period that begins when a relationship ends (or a fleeting love at first sight that was not reciprocated) is very fertile for learning on our own, without blindfolds and without mirages. Only in this way can we come to terms with and understand our mistakes, giving shape to their causes and disastrous consequences. We cannot spend our life holding the other person responsible: this is as easy as it is unproductive. 

Be honest and explore your responsibility

We all have our share of responsibility in a relationship. The main thing is to assume it. If we trample on our self-esteem to fit in with the other person, we won’t have a healthy relationship. When preventing the other from leaving becomes the priority of our existence, we are faced with an extremely powerful and reliable signal. We must take action.

So be honest with yourself and always try to find meaning in these painful experiences. To this broken heart. Look for a meaning that helps you understand yourself better and not repeat mistakes. Once you acquire this knowledge, you will be a little wiser, a little stronger, and the hope of a relationship that finally works will be greater.