Are You Educating Your Children Poorly?

“The future of our children is shaping up now. Tomorrow, it will be too late.”

– Gabriela Mistral –

When you decide to have a child, you don’t really think about all the work and the responsibility that comes with it.

We are going to give birth to a person whom we will have to educate and raise. This is the real job, the one that requires the most effort, but that makes us so happy.

What are we doing wrong? This is a question we must always ask ourselves.

It is necessary to correct these mistakes, because the education our children receive will define what they will be later.

Positive and negative reinforcements

Obviously, you reproduce with your children the things that you experienced in your childhood.

But when you pay attention to your children when they hurt things, for example, when they cry, know that they are not responsible… You are missing out on all the positive things they are doing.

Not emphasizing the positive aspects, so that your child will not feel useful or satisfied when they do something good.

Your child should feel that his good behavior can have a reward. However, we are not talking about material reward, of course.

A positive little word from parents will make your child happy when they see the pride in their parents’ eyes.

Even if you don’t realize it, you subconsciously reinforce negative actions too often.

So, you not only ignore the positive actions, but you focus on the ones you complain about so much.

If you only pay attention to your child when they are crying, angry, or being tested, you are sending them the wrong message because they will know exactly what to do to get your attention. The question is: what if one day it does not succeed?

Standards and limits

Rules are necessary. We have to teach our children to respect them, just as they will have to do later in school or in the world of work.

Some parents disagree with setting even minimal standards.

The standards should not only apply to your children. If you don’t respect them yourself, your kids won’t understand why they should respect something you don’t do.

You will not teach your children correctly that way… The standards are the same for everyone, otherwise they would make no sense.

Thus, it is obvious to impose limits. Children are not born having already learned everything and we must teach them how far they can go in certain situations.

It is also not necessary to cut their wings because you will cause the opposite effect.

However, it is necessary to teach them standards to prevent them from being rude or disrespecting them continually.

Children learn fast, so the sooner you act, the better. In education, it’s now or never.

They will come of age much faster than you think, and anything you haven’t taught them will turn against you. Above all, be firm, responsible and consistent. Your children will thank you for it one day.

Your children are not the center of the world

Of course, paying attention to your children is important, but don’t confuse that with seeing them as the center of the world.

Often times, we ourselves criticize people who think they are the center of the universe, so don’t make your child believe that everything revolves around them.

Seeing yourself as the center of the world will prevent your child from being generous to others, especially on an emotional level.

He needs to know how to empathize and understand that he cannot always be the center of attention, because others will also occupy that place.

You don’t always have to respond to their little crises, their needs or their fears… Your children must learn to defend themselves on their own.

The fact that they see themselves as the center of attention and that they have you by their side at all times to meet their needs, will prevent them from knowing how to deal with adversities that may arise without warning.

An education in which you give in to their whims and in which you are neither firm nor consistent with the rules and limits, will not bear fruit.

So ask yourself if you are doing it right, ask for a second point of view. It is not for you that you are doing it, it is for your children, because they will become what you teach them today.