Activate Internal Alarms To Increase Self-control

The desire to increase self-control is a very common goal. The problem is, it’s usually not enough to put all our willpower into it. Because sometimes what we lack is not the interest, but an adequate methodology. Psychology and the sciences that deal with the mind have found ways to make achieving this goal simpler and more effective.

Self-control is defined as the ability to modulate emotions and keep calm in the face of stressful or hostile situations or that cause strong emotional impacts. Some call it a “cool head”, but it’s more like a “slow heart”.

The process of increasing self-control is gradual. The shift from impulsivity to reflexivity does not happen overnight. It is a process of self-education which progresses gradually, that is to say level by level. It is therefore essential to learn how to activate our internal alarms. Let’s take a look at all of this in more detail.

Worries, a factor that prevents increasing self-control

What stresses us out, irritates us or distresses us, most of the time, is not that stressful, irritating or distressing. It is we who give these connotations, who give this importance to what happens to us, from our own perspective.

When we are unable to deal with the way we find ourselves and reality overwhelms us, what usually happens is we interpret the world with anxiety.

Concerns are just that: an anxious way of facing reality. These are worrying predictions of what lies ahead and are of no use to us.

Thus, the first of the internal alarms that we must activate is the one that warns us of the presence of a problem. Now what can we do in these cases?

• Take your worries out of your mental field. Write it down or say it out loud in front of a tape recorder. The important thing is to avoid that it remains constantly in our interior.
• Define the time spent on worries. It may be helpful to allow time to reflect on your concerns. One hour a day, for example.
• Make the most of the time you spend on worries. During the time spent thinking about what concerns us, the ideal is to try to find solutions. However, let’s not try to find the magic exit, but the next step.
• Relax the rest of the time. Apart from the precise moment to worry, what to do is relax and not think of anything negative.

The process of increasing self-control

Another key to increasing self-control is reacting in time to a stressful, irritating, or other stimulus that causes us discomfort. This stimulus must be isolated. This means, in the first place, not to react. And second, we have to get away from it.

To do this , it is necessary to identify precisely what mortifies us. For example, we can write it down and then erase it from our lives and act like nothing is bothering us. As if we were theater actors and our role was to simulate tranquility. Then, it would be a question of looking for something that we like – or at least that is neutral -. In this way, we would observe how our emotions are balanced.

Thus, increasing self-control ranges from the realization of not reacting impulsively to the ability to anticipate negative situations or effects. The advancement levels are as follows :

• Resist overreaction. It’s better to shut up and be still than to do something you might regret later.
• Identify the emotion that wants to take hold of you (fear, anger, anxiety, stress, etc.) and manage it so that it does not take control.
• Maintain control in situations that cause stress, anger or frustration and keep going. However, it is true that in such moments, it is difficult to regain balance.
• Practice relaxation techniques and apply them in difficult times. Thanks to this it will be easier to find peace and a state of calm.

• Stay in control and respond constructively. It is about looking for solutions to what worries us, irritates us or anguishes us.
• Achieve as much self-control as possible and at the same time gain the ability to calm those around you.
• Anticipate situations that may cause tension or difficulty and develop strategies to change them and prevent overflow situations.

Now, the most important thing in this whole process is to introduce these internal alarms which help us stop the negative spiral of thoughts and emotions. It is through willpower, constant practice, and the ability to be aware, while avoiding pressure and understanding that time is our best ally in these cases.

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