The Wind Does Not Wash Away The Words
It is true that our memory makes mistakes, but from there to saying that it does not exist, there is a long way ; a path which is not without importance and which sometimes represents fertile ground for those who want to give up beyond the commitments that have been made. Thanks to these opportunists, it is said that “the wind does not wash away words”.
This metaphor, basically, says that what is spoken or not written or signed has less weight than a deciduous and yellowish leaf, of those which fall from trees in autumn. Perhaps in the field of law it is so, but in the personal field it is very different.
As we said at the beginning of this article, we have a memory that sometimes can slip, but a memory anyway. This is where the personal commitments that we make, and that others make to us, remain engraved. When our sister agrees to take our children home today, she doesn’t sign any legal documents to confirm it, but just tells us that she will. She gives us her word …
… And she’s holding it, which in theory, in human relationships, should weigh more than a scribble for a signature. On the other hand, the trust that we place in our sister and in her word depends on the number of times she has kept her promises in the past, and more particularly the promises which have entailed a certain cost for her.
In other words, if we know that our sister this evening had nothing planned and that probably it will not change, we will try to find situations where we have made a commitment on which we also thought the cost was low for her. . Once located, we will use them to estimate whether the commitment will be honored or not, whether it will keep its word or not.
On the contrary, if we live far from home and we know that tonight, she will have an activity that she loves and that therefore she could finally be available later than expected, we will call on the times when the commitments made towards it represented a greater cost. Thus, we will also use them to estimate the commitment will be respected or not.
For this estimate, we will also assess other factors, such as possible motivations to respect this commitment. Perhaps our children want to spend some time with their aunt and cousins, which will undoubtedly lower the estimated cost. On the other hand, this cost will increase if our children are not delighted with this idea.
Finally, the increased cost does not necessarily have to increase the likelihood that someone will not keep their word at the same time. There are some people who for different reasons, such as claiming to be generous, can stick to high cost commitments and not face those with lower cost.
There is another kind of words that the wind can hardly erase from our memory, and these are the words we have been told by people we like and who have done us great harm. It may be understood that they said them in a moment of frustration and that in reality they did not mean them, but it is not so easy to erase them from our memory, as the wind can carry the leaf slowly falling from a tree.
The problem is, these words remain engraved with a deep emotional trace, and generally our memory does not forget what causes the deep traces. There is, however, an exception: that the fact surpasses our capacity for emotional assimilation and hides the memory with dissociative amnesia.
However, even with this type of amnesia, the person might have feelings of rejection towards the one who hurt them even though they cannot explain why. Thus, the words one speaks are not harmless elements tossed in the air written with pens that are difficult to erase. On the contrary, they are elements of influence that can never be erased.
Finally, the words that are addressed to us leave a trace in us, as do those that we say. The words that others say to us can anchor deep pain in us, but so do the words that we say ourselves, which can leave very intense feelings such as guilt in us (from the point of view of negative view) or pride (from the positive perspective). Therefore, no, the wind does not carry words … and sometimes even a hurricane cannot carry some.
