Principle Of Consistency: Words And Deeds In Harmony

The principle of consistency tells us that we strive,  almost all the time, to be consistent. One of our main needs is to maintain this harmony between what we say and what we do, between what experience has taught us and what the present moment asks of us.

It is nevertheless true that we do not always succeed and that this conflict generates unease.

Carl Rogers, a famous humanistic psychologist, was one of the first to explore the principle of congruence  or coherence. In 1950, he defined it as an association between experience and consciousness.

This in itself would be  the result of everything we have experienced and the lessons we have learned from it to act accordingly  with our own scale of values, feelings and desires.

If Rogers was interested in taking this concept further, it was for a reason. What we can often see in therapy is  the inconsistency, the distance between what we need and what we do for ourselves.

Many people seek therapy because they feel they have strayed completely from their “ideal selves”. Their reality has lost meaning; they see a glaring difference between what they want and what they do, between what they feel and what they receive.

If the principle of coherence disappears,  we see discomfort and suffering appear. This is an unfortunately common reality that is worth spending time on.

The principle of consistency can sometimes be the source of problems

The principle of consistency has been studied, among others, by the writer and psychologist at Arizona State University, Robert B. Cialdini. One of his best-known books is, without a shadow of a doubt, Pre-Suasion, The Power of Influence Begins Before You Speak the First Word. 

In this work, he deepens his theory to bring us a new and interesting approach.

This nuance introduced by Cialdini is as follows. Sometimes, in order to preserve our consistency,  we find ourselves in contradictory situations which result in problematic.

For example, we can define ourselves as an ecologist very committed to the protection of the environment and yet continue to use contaminating energies.

There are situations in which we experience a kind of sanction from society to defend certain things and not be in total coherence with these things.

All of this becomes more complicated if we are to inspire others. If our desire is to reach other people through our values ​​and our behaviors.

What can we do under these circumstances? Are we perhaps more incoherent than we think?

The principle of coherence and small dissonances

There are circumstances in which  the principle of consistency cannot be respected 100%. You may not like arguments and disputes and often have to deal with them.

It is possible that we defend certain political ideas and our partner defends opposing ideas. We can love children but have decided not to have any.

Despite these apparent inconsistencies, there are a series of facts to consider:

• A person can continue to be consistent despite the apparent inconsistencies in everyday life. Ultimately, as Carl Rogers pointed out, the principle of consistency makes use of one’s own consciousness.

• In other words, if I do not experience any dissonance, if my perception continues to perceive a harmony between what I am feeling and what I am doing, there is no problem.
• At the end of the day, our environment is incredibly complex. We are obligated to cope as well as possible with every stimulus, with every person, circumstance and unforeseen.
• The main thing is that at all times there continues to be an internal balance. There will always be situations that go against our principles. These situations in which we react with conviction to defend our consistency.
• At other times, we are forced to make small concessions because we are interested in the profits. We retain, despite everything, internal homeostasis.
• For example, we can have a partner with different ideals but with whom life as a couple is beautiful and satisfying.

Despite the pressures, let’s be consistent. It is a question of courage.

We are aware that sometimes  our thoughts and behaviors are not aligned. This dissonance can occur from time to time without significant consequences.

Injuries arise when we continuously breach the principle of consistency. Carl Rogers associates it with the theory of the ego, one of his most important contributions.

• When we do not respect the principle of coherence continuously,  we observe a glaring distance between the ideal ego and the perceived ego. In other words, between what I do and perceive about me and what I would like to be, there is a gulf. It is this abyss that causes me suffering.

• Thus, this disharmony ends up creating different mental strategies with which we strive – unnecessarily – to find a balance. For example, we build cognitive dissonances.
• These are internal conflicts that arise when we hold divergent ideas. This leads us, sooner or later, to justify something that goes against our values ​​in a vain attempt to reduce this psychological suffering.
• We also have recourse to complex defense mechanisms  to appease these contradictions, completely useless strategies. All of this translates into a greater level of frustration and anxiety.

In short, if we want to guarantee our psychological well-being, it is essential to preserve our principle of coherence. It is an act of courage to be carried out on a daily basis.

Being and acting according to our values ​​at all times can sometimes be complicated. Nonetheless, this effort will ensure that the self-esteem muscle is in tip-top shape. Let’s try.

Our thoughts

Discover the Rosenberg scale, a way to assess your self-esteem and whether it is reaching a balanced level or not.