Over Time, I Have Learned That I Am Not Missed By Those Who Are Not Looking For Me

When over time a person offers us nothing more than rejection and indifference, it is hard to believe that they can care about or love us, and that they can be missed.

In these cases, we tell ourselves that something in us is leading the other not to pay us his attention, so we feel less important in his eyes, and therefore, it is our self-esteem that suffers.

While we all deserve to feel respected and loved by others, unfortunately this is not always the case; often in the course of our life we ​​have to deal with insolence and disappointment.

Indifference and rejection generate in us great emotional suffering quite comparable to physical pain; it should not be underestimated.

This is because indifference has been shown to stimulate the same areas of the brain as physical pain, and as a result, it can be just as mentally unbearable.

We should not therefore confront these situations, but accept the fact that we have to devote time and effort to heal the wounds that we have made by falling in our race towards someone who does not. didn’t want us by his side.

Over time, you will learn to respect yourself and emotionally connect with those who deserve it.

Over time, you will learn to respect yourself and to distance yourself from the indifference of others; reconsider your relationships and pay attention to your emotional needs and those of others.

However, it is important to learn to recognize other people’s attempts to “disconnect” from us (and vice versa).

Let’s see some behaviors that make you feel indifferent:

If someone loses interest in you instead of paying attention to you

If that happens, the other then sends us a direct message: you don’t interest me. People who neglect others have no intention of harming them; they are simply cornered by their own interests and fail to pay attention to those around them.

On our side, the best thing to do to avoid showing disinterest and indifference to others, is to ask ourselves what is the goal of each relationship that we have.

So, if we realize that what we want is to connect, we have to start collecting emotional moments by seeking to spend moments in which we emotionally connect with others, and by celebrating these moments. moments.

To be on the defensive

If, instead of adopting an attitude of empathetic listening, there is a certain indifference, hostility and a defensive attitude in our interactions with others, then attempts at connection will be sabotaged.

When conversations start with negative, accusatory, or critical attitudes, it’s easy to predict how the conversation or relationship will develop.

If you don’t want the other to feel underestimated, then it’s important to pay attention to the words you use when addressing others.

Avoid conversations that need to take place

We also have to deal with indifference, when the other avoids having a conversation with us that needs to take place so that we can sort out what is wrong. Obviously, this affects the relationship and shakes us up.

Indeed, often, the biggest disagreements arise between these people who let the tension build up, which generates more and more confusion.

Such behavior cools relationships, and widens a rift that becomes insurmountable over time.

It is important to learn to detect these signs and to always better manage to connect emotionally with others.

However, we have to know how to recognize which way the scales tip when we reconsider our struggle to save a relationship.

It is difficult to maintain loyalty when it is based on the interest that one has or that one represents; in this case, logically, when needs change, so does loyalty (which will then lead us to feel disinterest and indifference).

There is nothing surprising about this; on the other hand, we must protect ourselves from the interests and selfishness of others, by revalorizing ourselves.

A person’s attention does not carry as much weight in our life as we might think when coldness and indifference take us by surprise.

So maybe the key is to give yourself time, to understand all of this, and to realize the importance of recognizing yourself, taking care of yourself, and looking after yourself.

The less we are in harmony with ourselves, the more our authenticity and our well-being will deteriorate … which is not worth it.

Note to reader

If you want to deepen your knowledge on topics such as emotional communication, we recommend that you read John’s Guide to Love and Friendship . Gottman and Joan DeClaire.