The Best Revenge Is The Absence Of Revenge: Go Ahead And Be Happy
The best revenge is the one that is never born. The best revenge is to smile at hatred, stifle the rage, and show each other that we can be happy. Because there is no better strategy than to act calmly and with wisdom by going forward, with a determined gaze and a relaxed heart knowing that there are weights that it is better not to keep in oneself too long.
Confucius said with certainty that before embarking on a journey of revenge, two graves must be dug. Ours and that of our adversary. Philosophy has always provided us with fields of reference to reflect on the act of revenge and the moral consequences involved in this practice, which is as popular as it is attractive.
We use the term attraction for a very concrete fact. We are actually dealing with a type of human behavior that has always puzzled us, we cannot deny it. In fact, writers and film producers know full well that revenge fascinates us immensely. There is no shortage of those who say that it works almost like a medicine: prescribed in small doses, but consumed in large quantities, it can kill us in the end.
We can for example refer to literature with Edmon Dantes or the Tale of Montecristo. This unforgettable character of Alexandre Dumas teaches us that the best revenge is served cold, without haste and perfectly calculated. Agatha Christie for her part, allowed us to participate in a complex and equally violent plot in “ the ten little niggers” in order to make us understand that evil or bad behavior must be properly avenged.
Revenge sometimes even comes to force us to justify ourselves. On the other hand, what psychological processes are hidden behind this act?
Revenge, a very human desire
The majority of us at some point in life have felt so hurt, sad or offended that the shadow of that bitter, ashen figure crossed our mind; an almost always tempting shadow: revenge. Our moral visions are deviated and we imagine forms, ways and situations to transmit the pain that makes us suffer to the person responsible for it.
So, it is important to understand that revenge has little to do with morality; what the psychologist Gordon E. Finley, a great expert in criminal conduct, reminds us. Revenge is an impulse, it is the catharsis of rage and hatred. In addition, as revealed in a work carried out by Professor Ernst Fehr of the University of Zurich, more than 40% of decisions taken in the corporate world are aimed at “getting revenge” on a competitor.
The same thing happens with delinquent acts, more than half of these are committed because of accumulated resentment towards someone and out of expressed desire for revenge. All this forces us to accept the fact that the best revenge does not exist, because beyond the results it achieves, something more disturbing happens, something more revealing: we become aggressors. and we acquire the same moral quality as those who caused the original wound.
The best revenge is the absence of revenge
We could justify here the fact that the best revenge is the absence of vengeance, because this is what common and moral sense dictates to us, because this is what religious, spiritual and even philosophical reasoning asserts us with which we move forward a lot. However, we will rather analyze this recommendation from a purely psychological point of view.
For example, have we ever wondered what is behind people who use revenge almost constantly? We will see it in the following.
Personality of vindictive people
- Behind someone who reacts spitefully to any offense, big or small, is emotional mismanagement and low self-awareness (when someone offends me, I let my anger escape and I hate myself. ).
- These are profiles who believe they have the absolute and universal truth. They are law and justice, they are the clear example of what everyone should be.
- These people present dichotomous reasoning, or you’re with me or you’re not, things are getting done right or are getting wrong.
- They usually have very low empathy.
- They do not forgive and do not forget either, they live suspended to their past and to resentment.
As we can see, from this psychological and emotional setting, revenge or envy of it is not beneficial to anyone. This drive, this necessity as we might define it, nibbles on integrity and nullifies any possibility of good judgment. In fact, it completely limits the opportunity to move forward as a person to build a more timely and well-heard, happy reality.
We may be drawn to that vigilante side of a comic book or Edmon Dantes-style novel. On the other hand, behind it there is nothing more than suffering and loneliness. For this reason, the best revenge will always be the absence of revenge or better yet: living well and having others see us happy is undoubtedly the best revenge.
Our thoughts Today I am what I want to be, I have decided to fully discover myself and stop being the one expected of me.
