Nurture The Love That Protects Your Independence

To love someone is much more than stripping a body, it is stripping a soul, but this love must really correspond to us for it to be complete. There has to be a balance.

Sentences such as “My existence has no meaning without her”, “I live for and through him”, “She is everything for me”, “He is the most important in my life”, “I don’t know what I would do without her ”must be dug out of our thoughts and vocabulary if we are to have a healthy relationship.

The intense sensation felt when falling in love has been studied from many angles: philosophical, literary, scientific, psychological …

Because it is a state where the person feels flooded with happiness, joy, sensuality and many other positive sensations.

Falling in love is a transient obsession for a person, which produces various effects such as the idealization of the loved one, loss of concentration, daydreaming, loss of appetite, insomnia …

But all these effects only last a while, then reality takes back its rights and it is necessary to face it.

Love studies

There are various studies and scientific research that have shown that when we fall in love, our brain produces a mixture of hormones that resembles the one that occurs during an addiction.

Dopamine and norepinephrine levels go up, which is why we are energized and energized, and serotonin levels go down, which can cause us to think only of the other person.

A study from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine reports that when love dies, just as a person is addicted to drugs, the consequences of addiction are so strong that they can lead, in some cases, to depression and specific types of obsessive behavior.

Another study conducted in the UK in connection with the psychology of love, in which 4,000 people participated, concluded that the small acts are the ones that matter because they are the most valued.

Taking coffee to your partner when he / she gets up, telling him / her how handsome he / she is every morning are little things that are more valued than spending money on expensive gifts.

Social networks are damaging relationships today. According to a survey carried out by the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers of the United States in 2011 showed an increase in divorces due to the use of social networks, since these caused jealousy, mistrust and therefore problems of couple. 

Love or addiction

But one of the basic issues that plagues many people is the inability to differentiate between love and addiction.

A person who suffers from emotional dependence is characterized by his low self-esteem, his submissive character and above all because he does not conceive his life alone.

These are people who feel a deep need to have someone by their side, idealizing and living for that person. Here are some characteristics of an emotional addict.

The dependent person does not know how to live alone. These are people who need to always be in a relationship and who do not learn to take advantage of their solitude. In general, they “chain” their relationships to avoid being alone because they are unable to envision a life without a spouse.

In addition, they often have low self-esteem. An emotional addict is often someone who has low self-esteem, someone who doesn’t love themselves very much, and who constantly seeks the approval and tenderness of other people in order to feel safe.

Lack of assertiveness and total gift

Dependent people do not know how to say “no”. They are complacent people who, for fear of rejection or a breakup, do not know how to say no.

They don’t express their feelings, they don’t express their opinions when something doesn’t please them or does not do them good.

They focus only on pleasing the other person so as not to lose them.

Plus, they tend to put their relationship above all else. A dependent person puts their relationship above their hobbies, friends and family.

This is the most important thing and it does not allow anyone to interfere in this relationship. That is, the dependent person places the relationship above themselves as well.

On the other hand, the partner of an “emotional addict” is often someone who is assertive, egocentric, dominant and not very affectionate. This is why they find their perfect complementary half in emotional addicts.