7 Rules For Dealing With Unwanted Loneliness
Loneliness, as such, is neither positive nor negative. It depends on how each of us lives it and accepts it. Sometimes we are alone, and other times we want to be; we need it and we like it. However, there are times when loneliness implies sadness and / or a feeling of abandonment. Being alone for too long could have meant serious troubles, for we are first and foremost social beings.
Therefore, it is necessary to know how to face loneliness, to know how to manage it or accept it. In this article, we give you 7 rules that will help you face it in an intelligent way, in a way that is in the direction of your personal development.
There are different forms of “negative” loneliness ; for example, we can speak of negative loneliness when a person feels helpless, alone, without company, and has little hope of seeing the situation change. In other words, she feels loneliness as a condemnation: a situation not chosen, a kind of unfair punishment.
It can be difficult to change family or group situations. This feeling of loneliness, when it has not been chosen, is one of the most negative experiences for our personal, emotional and health development, both physically and mentally.
The concept of loneliness is different from that of isolation. But the concept of addiction is much more different; one could say that these are three distinct faces of loneliness, with their pros and cons.
There is solitude understood as a distance from the din, agglomerations, noise… We need it to be able to find ourselves, to pray, to write or to concentrate. This loneliness becomes the path that connects us to our interior on a multi-lane highway.
This loneliness is necessary in our life and cannot hurt us. If we know how to manage it intelligently, it can bring us great benefits. However, very often loneliness is not chosen, but imposed. In cases of imposed loneliness, we perceive the loneliness with such intensity that we can be surrounded by people and still feel alone in spite of everything. So many people around us and such a weak feeling of company!
Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible of loneliness. It can lead us to develop a real pathology, inducing suicide in the most extreme cases. On the other hand, loneliness can come from the feeling of not maintaining deep relationships: the absence of a true friendship or of loved ones you trust, for example. Personality can also predispose loneliness: some studies reveal that up to the age of forty, it grows strongly, culminating in retirement and when children emancipate themselves and leave the family home.
When children emancipate themselves, we can see what is called “empty nest syndrome”. We must then act and face loneliness in the best possible way. It is indeed necessary to do something if at work, in our family or in our usual social group we feel alone and this feeling seems to suffocate us little by little.
The loss of autonomy and the difficulty of moving around favors another type of loneliness, which can however enrich us if we know how to digest it, accept it and occupy it.
There are many things you can do to control and cope with negative loneliness. It’s not about not being alone, it’s about not feeling alone. Among these things are the following rules:
It is a good idea to organize your life according to your current state (single, widower, retired, no children, etc.). Don’t organize yourself around the stressful routine you’ve been going through as a housewife or employee in a business. It’s time to make room on our agenda for activities that allow us to exchange interests with other people.
Try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Make sure, as far as possible, not to fall into anarchy: this will give you a great feeling of security. On days when you don’t have to get up early, don’t stay in bed. If you do not get your body used to a certain rhythm, the feeling of melancholy will increase.
If possible, try to eat at the same time every time. Eat dinner every night, even if it means opting for a light meal if you are not very hungry. Don’t fall into the trap of eating only when you are hungry, and out of control. You will notice it in your physical health and mood. Disorder leads to disorder, and in turn anxiety.
Don’t get carried away by the bad time you are having. “I’m bored, I don’t want to wash, change, get dressed… I slouch on the sofa all day waiting for a call or a visit that never comes”. Watch the time and do what you set out to do during the day!
Do you have a vegetable garden? Take care of it. If you have a garden, take care of it, there is always something to do in a garden. Otherwise, take care of the plants on the balcony. You can also tidy up your apartment / house, papers, do the dishes… Doing something that can distract you and keep you active is good and healthy.
We have to find something to do to occupy and fill our time. But something that is meaningful to us, that allows us to enjoy and also to mature. Don’t complain about not having a lot of money – rich people can get bored too. It’s about finding something that appeals to you and pleases you.
The monotony is broken with the changes. Change your habits, make room for risk in your life, tell yourself that you don’t need anyone to go to the movies, dine out or travel.
The relationship we maintain with loneliness, isolation and addiction is in our hands. Living alone does not mean being alone or lonely. What matters is to accept the personal situation in which one finds himself and to fight to compensate for it with friends, family, children, groups. If you go through a pass like this … Take note of these rules, they may help you, if only a little!
Our thoughts Loneliness and anxiety are two conditions that often go hand in hand. So, how do you learn to appreciate solitude so as not to be anxious?
