How To Live True Friendships?

Good friendships help improve all aspects of life. On the one hand, they make it possible to have a more joyful and pleasant life.

On the other hand, friendships help to strengthen health and prevent loneliness and isolation.

As we get older we try to make new friends and maintain old friendships. But work, family and other commitments can sometimes complicate matters.

While making new friends and keeping old friendships takes effort, it is an investment that makes life richer and more enjoyable.

No matter the age or the circumstances, it’s never too late to make new friends or rediscover old friendships.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who matters to you and is present. Admittedly, in recent years, technology has changed the definition of friend.

It can facilitate social opportunities, helping us keep in touch with old friends, start new relationships with people around the world who share similar interests, and maintain relationships with friends who live near us.

However, the friends we make through social networks or other virtual means are not people who can be hugged when we need them, who we can visit if they are sick, or with whom we can celebrate something important.

The differences between friends and acquaintances

Now when you think about the people you can spend time with physically, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish true friends from acquaintances. 

We can say that an acquaintance is someone we know and with whom we discuss everyday matters from time to time.

In general, these relationships do not go beyond the simple fact of knowing each other and knowing a little about the other, but without going deeper into it.

On the contrary, a friend is someone with whom we share a higher level of interaction and communication, and with whom we share our feelings openly.

Friends listen without judging, support and accept each other, and above all are united by a bond of trust and loyalty.

Why is it important to have friends?

The need to have friends depends on the situation we are in.

Long ago, survival depended on having friends to hunt and find food, to build shelters and keep families safe, while having company. 

Today, good friends are as important as they were before, but a special meaning has been added.

With them, we enjoy good times and overcome difficult times. Besides being a great source of fun and fun, great friendships are also important for physical and emotional health.

Good friends can help improve morale, achieve personal and professional goals with their support and motivation.

Their presence also helps reduce stress and possibly depression. In addition, good friends support each other during difficult times, helping to overcome situations of illness, losses, break-ups etc.

In addition, as we get older friends are a great support to overcome all that age brings and they help us to live more fulfilling ways.

Of course, friendship is a two-way street because being a good friend increases happiness and a sense of self-worth, it also makes us feel important and gives our life even more meaning. .

Developing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, but the rewards it brings show that it is a valuable “investment” and that the rewards are worth the effort. 

Make friends as an adult

During childhood and adolescence, we make friends very easily, but as we grow up we evolve in different ways.

As adults we tend to be more and more reserved and have less and less time to share with other people.

People who have experienced an intense friendship relationship as a child have even more difficulty in adulthood. But regardless of age, all people need and want to have good friends.

Many adults feel the need to make new friends as family and work commitments have often caused a loss of contact with old friends, or old friendships have dissipated over time.

Many people feel uncomfortable socializing around a lot of people. In addition, a friendship is not forged on a night out or in a special celebration that brings many people together.

Building a relationship of friendship takes time. However, being willing to meet new people is a first step in getting to know new people and building a relationship of friendship. 

Tips for making new friends and building new friendships

# 1 – find places and situations where you can meet new people

Friendship doesn’t happen overnight, you have to take certain steps in order.

For starters, it’s important to find places to meet, be open to new ideas, and cultivate personal interests with other people.

You won’t always be successful but often it will be fun and you can learn more about the experience.

For example, you can participate in voluntary activities, join an association or register for group courses.

You can also go out for a walk, invite an acquaintance for a drink or do something, share the commute to work with someone, attend plays and social gatherings, such as art gallery openings. , book readings, lectures, music recitals etc.

# 2 – participate in a conversation

Some people instinctively know how to start a conversation with any person and in any location.

Those who do not have this talent can follow the following ideas:

– Observe those around you and take any opportunity to comment on something (for example, “what a magnificent view“, “have you tasted this dish?” Or “I love this song, it reminds me very much. good memories”).

– Ask an open-ended question that asks for an answer other than yes or no (for example, “when did you arrive?” Or “Why did you decide to devote yourself to this?”).

– Start a question with a compliment (for example, “I really like your dress, where did you buy it?” Or “It looks like you have done this many times, can you tell me in which direction I must go ?”).

– Look for something in common and comment on it (for example “My children also went to this school and I am very satisfied with it” or ”I read this book a long time ago, I found it very interesting”).

– Actively listen and continue the conversation of the other. 

If things aren’t going well and the conversation ends before we expected, that’s okay.

Meeting new people involves suffering from rejection, but this should not be taken as something personal, as you can always learn something positive from these experiences.

# 3 – be a good friend

Building friendships takes time. For this, we must nurture the relationship with the people we know by devoting time, effort and showing interest in the other person.

You have to behave like the friend you would like to have, listen to the other carefully, devote time to others and be indulgent with them.

In addition, it is fundamental to leave space, not to take advantage of the other and not to have too high expectations about the other or the friendship relationship. 

Friends develop our potential virtues in us. Each friend creates in us a zone of contact, a field conducive to the development of a specific type of friendship.
This is why we can have close friends who never manage to understand each other. Losing a friend often means neutralizing part of our personality. 

Julio Ramón Ribeyro